One of the most painful things for a man is being caught up in the ever-hated “friend zone.” The friend zone is a place that not even some of the suavest souls escape, but sometimes there is a way out. Well, unless you’re butt ugly and you’re BFF is a super model. In that case, there is absolutely nothing that I, nor anyone else, can do for you.
Straight from the source, here’s how to get out of the friend zone:
1. Value your friendship First and foremost
Ross from Friends is the perfect example of a man who escaped the friend zone and ended up with the love of his life. Ultimately, he always valued all of the years and experiences that he had with Rachel, over just being someone to hook up with. He always cared about her more than just a friend, although it wasn’t always mutual.
It’s never a good idea to ruin a friendship over just primal physical attraction. If you ain’t in it to win it, don’t even venture down this road, because I promise it will never be the same.
If you see a spark between you and your female friend, don’t be scared to capitalize on it, but only do this if you are serious about keeping up the romance. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself in the most giant pickle in the entire world and totally regret all of your life decisions, thereafter.
2. Be honest About How you feel
Write that girl a love letter, if you have to. A lot of times, it is hard for guys to express just how they are feeling, but in order to get out of the friend zone, you’re going to have to tell her.
It’s very hard to put yourself out on the line when you aren’t sure how she will respond, but I think it’s better than never knowing and ending up being asked to be her Best Man.
Talk about a total pants damper.
Just tell her exactly what you’ve been saying to your friends and family. It doesn’t matter how you do it, just do it. Maybe you’re not the greatest orator of our generation, but this is something more important than a simple text. If you’ve had a deep friendship for several years, let yourself be a bit vulnerable and tell her face-to-face.
Women love the good ole fashioned dramatic love profession.
3. Limit hanging out in big groups
Is your heart getting a bit of a rush every time you know she’s going to be at Trivia Night?
You might be in love, dude.
If you are looking to get to know another side of her, ditch the group you met in, and opt for a bit of a more intimate setting, where you guys can spend some one-on-one time together. You don’t want 97 other people around, interrupting and doing shots of vodka, while you’re trying to ask her what her favorite flower is.
Send her a text and ask her if the two of you should skip the group setting and maybe get some drinks. Don’t ask her to come to your house, where you’ve surrounded the bed in 1,000 rose petals. Just be cool and show her that you’re interested in getting to know her outside of all the hustle and bustle that your mutual friends bring into the picture.
4. Show her what you’re made of
Look, now is the time to step up with your A+ game. Throw your sweat pants in the nearest dumpster fire, throw on an outfit like the guy in the picture, and get a freaking haircut.
How hard is it to pick up some trendy shoes, fitted jeans (if you wear boot cut, I swear to God I will punch you), a t-shirt from Trim, and a button down shirt, preferably denim?
I can tell you that one of the most irritating things for a woman is when she feels like a guy is not trying. Get off your a**, buy her some flowers, and pray to Robert Frost to help you write a poem.
It doesn’t take much to impress us. It’s kind of amazing. Just look, smell, and be nice, and it’ll all work out.
5. Plan something special
I’m all for ballsy moves. I say, plan a trip and take her on it. First of all, she’d never accept unless she was kind of into you, too. I couldn’t imagine myself having a weekend wine tasting in Santa Barbara with my dude BFF, unless I kind of wanted to be there in a romantic way.
Otherwise, it’s just weird.
Make sure that there is no pressure involved, but maybe bring up the idea in casual conversation. Don’t plan to take her to Italy or anything, because Jesus Christ, slow down! But, ask her if she’s ever been to that cute little town that’s two hours away.
I promise that if you put yourself out on the line, you will figure out where you stand. Sure, it’s scary, but if you were even remotely interested in reading this, that means you’ve got a special someone who’s fitting the script.
Make your move.