Total Eclipse of the Heart: 5 Ways to Fix a Breakup Before It Happens


If you’re reading this, that means that your retina didn’t sizzle off during the solar eclipse. You’re one of the smart ones, who looked like a total idiot staring at the sun with modified 3D glasses.

Pretty anti-climatic, right?

All this talk of the sun and the moon has me thinking about none other than Bonnie Tyler’s epic 80s power ballad, “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Is the moon five seconds away from blocking all the visible sunlight into what was once the most precious thing in your life? There might be something you can do to fix things before it is too late!

Show Your Appreciation

Most couples who have been together for more than a year start to kind of fall off the whole romance bandwagon. In the beginning, relationships are filled with small gifts and mementos here and there, but after a while it might feel like a one-trick pony.

Whether you feel this way or not, you need to make sure that you keep the little things going, because they truly do go a long way. If it’s been a few months since you’ve sent your girlfriend flowers or made her dinner, it’s time to show her how much you love and appreciate her.

It doesn’t have to be with a fancy diamond ring, but most women want to know that they’ve been on your mind. Tokens of love are a great way to show her that she’s still incredibly important to you and you want to make her happy. It really doesn’t cost much to put a smile on your girlfriend’s face.


Has she been giving you the cold shoulder lately? Does she reply to whatever you say in a short and irritated tone? If so, there’s probably something that’s been on her mind for awhile. She may not want to be the one to bring it up, so you are going to have to be the bigger person and sit down and talk to her about it.

Send her a text in the morning and ask if there’s any way that you two can have an open discussion about the way things have been going. A lot of couples agree that the best way to stick together and resolve issues in long-term relationships is by hammering things out through communication.

Let her know that you’ve noticed a change and you want to talk about it and you care enough to resolve it. Create an environment where her feelings will be received well. This mostly concerns your attitude. Women hate it when you come into a conversation with your defenses up. If you’ve done something wrong, be willing to admit that.

Try to see things from her perspective, before you start arguing or trying to excuse your behavior. On the other hand, if she’s done something wrong, hear her out before you jump to any conclusions. The point is to talk openly and be vulnerable about how you are feeling and then go from there.

Take Care of Yourself

I hate to say it, but you could be losing your allure. A lot of people are guilty of getting too comfortable once they get into a relationship, which results in really letting themselves go.

If you are of the opinion that you don’t have to try anymore, trust me, she’ll notice. Laziness is a very unattractive quality. You don’t have to be a body builder, but if you suddenly went from an 8 to a 5 in the span of three months, she’ll feel like you think you have everything in the bag, which you do not.

Working out is something that both of you can do together in order to stay a happy and fit couple. When you look great, you feel great, and that is bound to have an effect on your relationship. Plus, hitting the gym also releases all kinds of stressors, which you are sure to remove from your attitude before you see your boo at home.

Show her that you are still interested in looking great for her. Reap the rewards.

Up Your Sex Game 

Performing the same old song and dance each time you enter the bedroom? Next time, take her by surprise. The missionary position is cool and all, but if that’s the only move you got, you won’t have her attention for long.

First, warm her up with a little romance. Maybe even rent a hotel for the night and have them deck it out for you. Side note, I actually worked at a hotel once, and we attempted to do this and ended up staining the comforter with rose petals, so make sure you use fake ones if you are trying this at home. Otherwise, you’re looking at an epic failure.

Next, ask her to remove her clothes for you. This step requires a bit of aggression. Once she’s completed the task, hand her a beautifully packaged pink box from Victoria’s Secret. Whisper in her ear, “I picked this out for you. Put it on.” This will have her like:

Make sure to caress and worship her body like you’re seeing it for the first time. You can thank me later.

vacation somewhere relaxing

I’ve been saying it for years, but vacations are the epitome of finding out your partner’s true colors. Are you dating a royal b*tch and that’s why she’s been hinting at a breakup? There’s only one way to find out! Take her on vacation. If you allow her to make the travel accommodations and she picks a five star hotel, rather than a cute Airbnb, she’s probably using you for all you’re worth, any way. Break up time!

Vacations give you time to relax and remember why you got together in the first place: you enjoy each other’s company. If you’re feeling some stress in your relationship, it could have nothing to do with your significant other. You might just need to get away from the real world for a while and decompress.

If you are in paradise and you feel a storm brewing, more than likely there is something seriously wrong between you guys.

Like fundamentally.

You should probably reevaluate when you get back home. For the most part though, it’ll give you time to spend together without the weight of the world on your shoulders, meaning you can rekindle those flames before they burn out forever.

Bye forever, total eclipse of the heart.