8 Things to Always Do on a First Date

Don’t try to trigger the joy emotion.

www.slideshare.net

DO NOT TRY TO TRIGGER THE JOY EMOTION. I REPEAT. DO NOT TRY TO TRIGGER THE JOY EMOTION.

I feel like the person who wrote this expects this to happen:

Guy: “Just had a pancake that changed my life. What’s up?”

Girl: “OMG, WHAT?!?! You’re honestly sOoOo crazy! HAHAHAHAHA. You’re so cool. Let’s go out soon!” (Be sure to add lots of the joy emotion, so that it’s clear you are LOLing).  

When in reality, my response would be:

“I’m blocking your number. Enjoy your pancake.”

This slide was made by a dude who is totally clueless. Is he describing humor? I agree that using humor is a great way to get a girl to accept a date with you, but the joy emotion? I’m pretty sure a robot from the early 1900s wrote this.

If you’re asking her on a date, be direct. There’s no reason to bring pancakes into this. Just simply say:

“Hey {your future date’s name}! I want to hang out soon, have you tried {insert favorite restaurant}? I think you’d love it! Let me take you there.”

Like – get to the point. I don’t have time to be discussing your maple syrup fetish. Be deliberate and specific, rather than weird and “WTF are you even saying?”

Look decent.

Seattle Men’s Fashion Blog

Okay, I’m not saying that you have to show up in a suit, but it’s good to know that a guy at least cares about the way he looks. On a first date, wear something casual, but not too casual. The model in the picture above is styled in a way that I think is appropriate for your first meeting. A nice button down and a pair of pants will do the trick. Also – shoe game. Have one.

I guarantee your date is putting a ton of thought into her outfit, so it doesn’t hurt to think things through. It shows that you care enough to look nice. A guy with a sense of fashion is always a turn on.

Offer to pick them up

If you feel like she’d be open to being picked up, offer to drive! Some girls won’t want to do this for safety reasons, because ummm hello, Lifetime movies, but some women find this attractive.

For a first date, it doesn’t hurt to shoot her a quick text and ask what she wants to do. Don’t demand to pick her up, just let her choose and if she wants to be picked up, arrive at the time you say you will, get OUT OF THE CAR, knock on her door, smile, and walk her to your car. It doesn’t hurt to open her door either.

Just saying.

Compliment, but keep it cool.

Alright, Ernest Hemingway. Let’s try to cool it down, because the only person that will get hot and bothered by this text after a first date is a middle-aged woman experiencing menopause.

I get the whole nice guy thing. I honestly do. Women love the idea of “the nice guy,” but chances are, we’re going to call you out on your bullsh*t. As I’ve mentioned with the “joy emotion,” whatever that is, we like it when you’re direct. If you give us a compliment, be straight forward. The cheesier, the more we’re going to think we just entered a Ponzi Scheme. Sincerity is key when it comes to grabbing our attention, especially during our first impression of you.

I’m having trouble relating to what, “you’re so complicated and yet, so simple at the same time,” means. You’re essentially just making crap up at this point and contradicting yourself, because you think it sounds good.

Just tell me I’m pretty. We don’t have to write a crappy novel out of it.

Ask questions.

Daily Express

Dude. If you don’t ask me questions or try to make conversation on a date, then what am I actually doing here? I get that some guys are shy, but I don’t want to be on a date with a blinking set of lifeless eyes. Sorry. 

Engage her, ask her about where she’s from, ask her about her family and friends, ask her what she majored in, ask her pretty much anything that a robot would not ask. Do not ask her how to trigger her joy emotion. Instead, do what you need to do in order to keep the conversation going. If she’s unable to keep up, you’re probably not going very far anyway.

It’s important to show that you are interested early on. If you don’t ask her anything about herself and you just talk about yourself, she’s going to text her friends and tell them how awful this date was. Don’t be scared to entertain her a little! 

Remember, you’re a dashing handsome man.

At least that’s what your mom tells you.

Stay off your phone.

Woman Around Town

This is imperative to the survival of your chances after a first date. Stay off your phone. Remember that this all goes back into acting interested. How in the hell are you interested if you are Snapchatting and Instagramming your food the entire time? I will kick you in the shin if you do this on a date. All people retain this right if they are bombarded by their date acting like a Grade A douche.

I don’t care if this a the nicest French restaurant in town. Put your God-forsaken phone down and drink this wine like you like it.

The only exception is taking a call or text that is incredibly important. Simply tell the person and apologize for disturbing the flow of the date.

If you aren’t interested in the person, excuse yourself and climb out the nearest window. Okay, that’s horrible advice, but there’s no reason you should be on the phone the whole time. That’s just flat out rude, even if the date is suckling to the max.

Offer to pay and make solid plans before you say adios.

YouQueen

As the date concludes, offer to pay. She’ll probably say, “Oh, let me pay half!” I always do this. In reality, the thought that’s going on in my mind is almost entirely opposite to the words coming out of my mouth. 

Look, dating can be expensive, so don’t ask someone out if you can’t get stuck with a bill. Offer to cook or offer for her to cook (kidding, this will not go over well). If you broke AF, but you like this girl, take her to do something that doesn’t cost a lot of money.

I’m saying this from experience. I once had a guy take me to one of the nicest restaurants in Nashville and pay for his half of the bill in quarters and single one dollar bills. We didn’t go out again, because I think the level of mortification that I experienced was similar to being petrified into a plank of wood. I was unable to move for like a solid 9 seconds.

Don’t do this to your date, okay?

After you’ve paid (let’s be realistic), if the date went well, make solid plans to see her again. In person. Tell her. All you have to say is, “You know, I had such a great time with you tonight, I’d love to see you again.” Wait for a response. If she’s like, “Yeah, me too!” Then ask her what her availability is.

Now you’re on your way to a second date.