Dating these days can be tough. This is why I’m giving you the inside information about what women find as total turn offs when we’re in those first courting stages.
Consider yourself lucky! Now you’ll know not to make these classic goof ups that’ll get you ghosted faster than Demi Moore.
1. Trying to Act Way Too Sexy
This is more of a recent issue that I’ve experienced and I definitely have a bone to pick with it. If you are sexy, you don’t have to act sexy. You just are sexy. Pretending to be sexy comes across as totally creepy and just flat out weird.
For instance: I’ve been seeing someone who really likes to whisper into my ear. See, the thing is… I’m not a huge fan of ear whispers. Like, who are you? The Ying Yang twins? First of all, my hearing isn’t that great so it has me saying things like, “Huh?” and “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” Even worse, I’ll just nod in agreement if I think I sort of understand, in which I normally do not.
It’s a forced sexiness that I can’t get behind. If you are sexy, we know it. We don’t have to be told about it. Playing a role is only going to have us questioning your sanity.
Ultimately, what I’m trying to say is: Just be yourself, because it’s overly apparent when you aren’t. You might think this is what cool behavior looks like, but I promise you that it’s not.
2. Getting Caught Swiping
Whoa. Okay, this is a big one and I’m revealing kind of a woman secret right now. This is like when David Blaine shows the audience how to do the trick and then all the other magicians get totally pissed at him.
There’s a point in time where you meet someone and you know they are on dating apps or whatever, because let’s face it, we live in that world now. Around the one month mark, the main person you’ve been dating is going to ask you where this “thing” is going.
Just be honest. This goes both ways. I recently had to have this conversation with someone. No, it’s not a fun one, especially if you don’t really see yourself wanting much more than occasionally heavy petting. That’s a nice way of saying sex.
If you’re not honest with a woman, do you know what she’s going to do? She’ll start getting suspicious and pick through your social media with a fine-tooth comb until she finds some evidence.
One big indicator is a recent surge of followers with basic a** names. At least that’s what we’ll tell our friends, who are also stalking you as well.
If you’re gonna keep swiping in secret, you better keep your Instagram to yourself.
Being thoughtful is like the ultimate turn on for a woman. Show up randomly with flowers, pay attention to the little things, open the door for her, be respectful of her time, basically just be a person who thinks about someone else before yourself.
If you really like this woman, these things shouldn’t be hard to do. When you’re dating someone that you care about, it kind of comes natural. If you find yourself having to think too hard about doing these things, then you probs aren’t that interested.
Being thoughtless is something that I instantly put a red X on someone for. Remember, you’ve got to do a little wooing every now and then to show her that you care. Even doing little things like taking out the trash when you notice it overflowing at her apartment will have her noticing that you’re being thoughtful.
4. Over Interested
A partner who is too clingy is my idea of an actual nightmare. Give your girl some space when she wants to hang out with her friends. I think spending separate time apart from one another and continuing your friendships with others is extremely important. If she wants to have a GNO, don’t text her the entire time. Just let her enjoy the company of her friends!
Showing over the top interest can be a big sign that your SO might be a little controlling. You definitely don’t want to be the reason that your girlfriend has no friends. Encourage her to keep those relationships in her life, since you are spending a lot of time together now.
Being too clingy is annoying and unattractive. It is the #1 reason I run away from someone. If a guy is showing uncontrollable interest, I’m sorry, I GTG.
5. Letting Yourself Go
Just because you have a girlfriend now, doesn’t mean you can start slacking. Keep the attraction going by dressing up, going to the gym, and keeping your house picked up. Once you start letting yourself go, the flame can go from burning hot to “Candle in the Wind” in 0.5 seconds.
If you start acting like a scrub after a few months, your girlfriend is going to notice. You can’t just act like Casanova and then fall off a cliff and start acting like Joe Dirt.
Relationships are work and letting yourself go is a sign that you think you got this sh*t in the bag. If you expect your girlfriend to have the perfect ass, while you sit on yours, you’re in for a surprise, buddy.
There’s ways to feel comfortable with your significant other, without putting a total damper on things. Sure, every couple needs a sweatpants day, but for every day like that, try to keep the spark alive with a date night.
You’re welcome. Especially on the Instagram thing.