Modern-day dating can be hell on Earth. With all these games that we feel are necessary to play with one another, it’s hard to tell who likes you and who really doesn’t.
Never fear, though! From a woman’s perspective, I’m here to explain the signs of when we’re just not that into you.
Sometimes we only want an occasional companion. If you feel yourself going off the deep end and catching some serious unsure feelings, this is a sure-fire way to be positive she isn’t that interested.
Not everything is black and white though, so I’ve also included some pointers on open communication for those tricky ones.
Get your pencils ready.
She Keeps it Way too Cool.
She doesn’t have to lose her sh*t over you, but there certainly needs to be some level of interest to gauge there. There’s a difference between playing it cool and just not caring at all. I know if I’m not crazy about someone, I don’t put much effort into getting to know the person I’ve been seeing.
If a girl is waiting 1-4 hours to text you back, I promise she is not into you at all. Even girls who play games aren’t sectioning off their entire nights to not talk to you. If she’s not communicating with you regularly, then she probably doesn’t care.
While some people are indeed horrible texters, most people will give you the common courtesy of responding if they are into you. Just leaving someone hanging for hours on end on multiple occasions shows that they don’t really care to make time for you.
You’re literally at someone’s disposal when they only respond to you out of convenience.
So, what should you do if you like someone and you feel you’re being treated this way? Well step one is to not act crazy, but do voice your concern. Most women don’t want a door mat. While she might keep you in the friend zone and reject you (always a possibility) she could also honestly be unaware that she’s doing this.
Open communication is key to any friendship or relationship. If you feel like you need to know where you stand with someone, just ask them. Don’t be weird about it, but say something along the lines of, “Hey, I really like you, but if you aren’t interested, that’s okay, too.” Make her feel like she’s in control to answer as honestly as possible.
Her response will tell you what you need to know.
You Know Nothing About her personal life.
If you’ve been dating for two or three months and you have no clue what her personal life looks like then you’re ultra screwed. Naturally, people who like one another are in communication when it comes to daily activities. When you like someone, you become aware of their daily schedule, etc.
We like to share our family and friends with the people that we like through talking about them. Storytelling is a natural part of human bonding. If your new partner isn’t much into this, then they don’t really care to have you invested into this aspect of their lives. This is a really bad sign.
If you don’t know your girlfriend’s mom’s name by now, things aren’t looking great for you.
There’s no better way to understand what kind of background someone comes from than by actually asking them about things like their childhood, siblings, hometown, etc. Say things like, “Oh, I would love to see where you are from!” People love their roots, so let them talk excitedly about them.
Don’t try to force it, but seem open to meeting your partner’s loved ones, even if you are a bit nervous. If they want to share the people closest to them with you, trust me, this is a good thing.
If you feel like you are missing out on some of this, ask why. Try to start a conversation concerning these topics. If you still feel like you’re hitting a brick wall, then there’s a reason for that. Just ask. There’s no problem in saying something like, “I can’t wait to meet your friend Stephanie. She sounds cool! We should all go out on Saturday.”
If your girlfriend is like, “Hell no. GIRLS NIGHT ONLY!” then you know that she’s not wanting to really have you join that aspect of her life.
Ultimately, she’s not that serious about you.
She won’t define plans.
Someone who actually likes you will be eager to see you. That means that they have no issue defining plans with you. It’s something that both you and the person that you’re dating will be able to look forward to during the week.
If she is reluctant to ever make clear plans with you and avoids making them like the plague, you should definitely get out now.
Feeling like the 2nd option is going to get old, quick. It’s like you know this is what’s going on deep down, but you aren’t really able to accept it. Well, accept it, embrace it, and own it, because in four or five months from now, you’re really going to want to die when you’re being used to pick up things like tampons from Walgreens.
If you are always chasing after someone, that means that they have all of the power in your relationship. Things have to be more balanced than that. Pining after someone who doesn’t really give you much of their time or effort isn’t gratifying. It sucks.
It doesn’t matter how cool, sweet, hot, smart, whatever this girl is. It’s not worth it.
What should you do? Honestly, I say ditch it immediately. If someone can’t make plans with you and makes you feel like participation trophy, you need to just end it.
She mentions that she’s, “So, over guys right now.”
If you are on a date and you hear this sentence, abort the mission. This sentence is muttered when, and only when, a woman has just got out of something where she seriously got f*cked over. It might’ve been a short fling or it might’ve been a two-year relationship. Either way, she has no feelings or craps to give.
I have only said those words when I was feeling seriously blue about dating. If you are sitting across from someone on a date and you are still feeling that way, then you aren’t ready to date. Like, you should not be accepting offers from anyone.
If she’s reaching out to you emotionally to say this, she’s doing it in either one of two ways. 1. To play a stupid game. 2. She seriously means it. Either way, you don’t want to get into that. Both are horrible choices.
If you hear her say this, you can make up your mind about if you really want to ignore a red flag or not. Some people who get burned are easily able to get their emotions back, while others spend years waiting for the heartache to heal.
Ask a few questions and see where their head is at. Start by asking them what happened. If they go into a long elaborate story, they aren’t ready. It means that they are willing to talk openly with THEIR DATE about someone else – the person that’s really on their mind.
Then ask them if they think they are ready for another relationship. If they seem reluctant, then make a mental note. If they seem like maybe they were just being dramatic, let it go, but keep watching for other signs.
And need I say: If a woman romantically rejects you, respect that. Don’t be a jerk, no matter how much you like her. Take it with stride and move on. Stalking is not a cute look.