This week, we’re happy to share a post by our friend, Christal Fuentes, on how we might be F*%&ing a relationship in our lives. Christal is the founder of The Ladies Coach. Her mission is to help people understand just how important RELATIONSHIPS are to their life, and why this understanding aids to their overall fullfillment, passion, and purpose! Enjoy!
These things could be costing you your business, your marriage, and your health.
Relationships are EVERYTHING! If you have a job, you are in a relationship. If you have family, you are in relationship. If you have a dog or cat, you are in a relationship (sounds kinda creepy but its true)… If you are living… YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP. Life is one big happy relationship… or, it should be most of the time. But we do have some great ways to ruin this relationship without even knowing we are…
Here are the 5 ways you could be F*&%ing UP a relationship:
1. Bringing negative energy into the room
Energy is everything, and I truly believe energy is the fuel to passion AND beautiful relationships. If you are constantly showing up with a negative and restricted energy, it is not only damaging to the relationships around you BUT more so to YOURSELF. Negative energy is a passion Killer… and we don’t want to kill beautiful Passion.
2. Always looking for bad intentions of people
Do you OR maybe someone you know ALWAYS feel like someone is out to get you? Maybe its someone that you are close with? I see this often with couples but the work place is NOTORIOUS for this as well. This is a relationship KILLER. Who in the hell wants to constantly be questioned about their intention? Not me, and the truth is, when we do this, we begin to victimize ourselves which is a VERY VERY selfish trait. And yes, a sure fire way to ruin a relationship. UNDERSTANDING is a crucial KEY to ridding yourself AND your relationships from this bad habit.
3. Making shit up that isn’t real (stories / beliefs about yourself and others)
Making things up could be a beautiful and creative trait if you are in the ARTs but it DEFINITELY doesn’t work in relationships. ESPECIALLY if your made up reality is one that is disempowering to you OR any one of your “relationships.” Do you catch yourself saying something close to the following?:
• “There aren’t any good women out there.”
• “My wife didn’t hug me when she came in like she usually does, Is she seeing someone else? I think we are becoming distant…”
• Suzy didnt help me at work today. She just doesn’t care about anyone but herself.
All these stories create thoughts that turn into feelings that turn into negative ENERGY.
4. Putting yourself down
Your thoughts become the energy you bring.
When there is a lack of love flowing internally, there will ALWAYS be a lack of love flowing EXTERNALLY. Every single one of us has beautiful gifts, quality and quirks and although we may not always make the best decisions, there is no reason to live in punishment forever. Make sure your self thoughts have the intention to serve your most powerful energy.
5. Doing things for the wrong reason
Are you in business ONLY because you want to prove and live up to an expectation? Or are you pleasing for recognition, praise or just to feel good enough?
Here are some questions to think about… Are you always finding ways to please people that sometimes it leaves you drained with no time for yourself? Are a successful man who has worked your ass off to get to where you are, but still feel there is a lack of passion? Or, could you be someone who is in a relationship because you feel being with someone is better than being alone?
I used to be a people pleaser to the extreme and of course I did it… well.. I thought I did it because I wanted to help as many people as i could… which holds some truth but what the REAL truth was that I desperately wanted to feel good enough! I loved hearing that praise/ recognition, and I certainly got a lot out of it, but that “feel good feeling” was very temporary. I was constantly out of energy and felt I needed to keep giving my time and energy to feed myself… almost like an addiction. I quickly realized I was pleasing people for the wrong reasons but the discovery part is also the powerful part, if you do something with it. I slowly started setting more and more boundaries, and allowed myself permission to live for me.
We have all been guilty of some… if not ALL the crimes i’ve listed but its not about who is right or wrong, it is about growing from it in a way that encourages love. And if you can do this, you will be on a solid path to powerful and passionate relationships.